Sex and The City...Wisdom and Great Fashion

Last night, I decided to come home from work, grab a snack, and pop in the Sex and The City movie. I'm sure most women will agree that this movie has become a cult classic. Maybe you made a night of it as I did with about 10 of my girfriends. We dressed up, went out for dinner, saw the movie in a packed theater with no men, and then strutted our newly empowered stuff at a swanky club drinking and laughing the night away. If you didn't, I can honestly say you missed out. But I digress. I watched it again last night.

Because I was doing some work on the computer while watching it (the dreaded female multi-tasking), I didn't devote as much attention to it as I usually do. Ok, I'll be honest. I wasn't working...I was up til 2:30 am chatting with a new interest (a West Point graduate Army Captain) who couldn't sleep. Between this conversation and a certain line in the movie, my mind wheels started to churn. The line I am referring to is when Carrie and Miranda are shopping for a Halloween costume and Miranda says, "Witch or Sex Kitten; the only options for women!" and Carrie says, "Woah you just said a mouth full, sister." You know exactly what I'm talking about.

During this part of the movie, my conversation with The Captain turned to what I've dealt with in recent dating experiences. Mostly, it was men going cold...MIA if you will. After a few scenario questions and great answers from him, he asks me, "What kind of jerks have you been dating?" I had to laugh because I've been asking myself that question a lot lately too. But he told me that I haven't been asking too much out of the MEN I've been seeing: communication, follow-up, quality time. He told me that at West Point, they're taught honesty, integrity, and respect. I had to, sadly, aknowledge that those are becoming more and more rare qualities to find in a man.

Anyway, hearing what he was saying and thinking about our two SandTC options, I realized that I have been switching between both costumes for some time now and chosen to keep the classy 'little black dress' in the closet. You go out for a good time downtown and turn into a 'witch' because if one more guy grabs your butt, you're going UFC on him. And then you immediately can switch to 'sex kitten' when a hottie across the room catches your eye and you turn on your charm. This made me ask: Have we really reserved ourselves to these two shallow roles?

What happened to the fun girl? The girl who can carry on a conversation with anyone without preconceptions? The girl who wants to go home alone because then you can take up your whole bed! Where are my classy ladies!? That was one recurring theme with my Captain. He wants a classy woman. I want a gentleman with integrity. These two types are made for eachother.

I've heard it said that you "need to dress for the position you want." It's true in dating too. If you want a jerk or to be single forever, put on the 'witch' hat. If you just want meaningless sex, put on the 'kitten' heels. But if you want a man who will devote attention to you, care about you, talk to you, respect you, and invest good-intentioned energy into your relationship, then bring out the sexy but classy little black dress...in other words, change your mindset.

Hang up the costumes, take off the face paint, and be YOU. Be that fun girl, that classy girl, the athletic girl (you don't have to let him win all the time), the activist, the artist, the one who's not afraid to laugh, and most importantly: the one who's not afraid to stand firmly on being you.